Nothing at all.
The time is 1:00 PM and I’m sitting here in the campus library’s Starbucks literally doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have a final tomorrow night that I haven’t studied for, I have two sets of homework due by midnight tonight that I haven’t barely studied. Yet, I am doing nothing.
You might think by “nothing” that I actually mean “surfing social media” etc.. You are wrong. I’ve been sitting here since 11 and all I’ve done was send birthday texts, get brunch and a latte, and take three quizzes on BuzzFeed on my phone. Oh, and I’ve been listening to music on my phone. But, yeah, that’s all. Super productive, right?
So I’m sitting here wondering what exactly AM I doing with my life. I’m going to college, which is hard, and I ask myself why all the time. The answer is typically: “So that I can be an aerospace engineer for NASA or SpaceX.” (Preferably SpaceX because NASA is controlled by the government). Then I ask myself why I even want to do that.
The answer has always been (since my junior year in high school): “So that I can change the world and make steps towards it being possible for human kind to inhabit another planet in another solar system by the time the sun expands and swallows the Earth.” Okay, but why do I care and want to do that?
That would have to be, in the simplest terms, “Because I feel like it.” Honestly, that doesn’t sound like a great reason, but, I do care a lot about doing that with my life. So, why am I sitting here doing absolutely nothing? Maybe it is because I’ve burned myself out, during the beginning of the semester, I was studying 24/7, but now I’m almost too tired to get out of bed, ever. I haven’t made it to my chemistry class in so long that I don’t even remember the last time I went. I’m sitting here exhausted, and I’m going to keep doing nothing. I’m sure I’ll make it through college and graduate, but for now, for these next couple hours, I want to do more nothing. When I decide to motivate myself, I’ll do it “because I feel like it”.
So that’s what I’m doing with my life. Nothing. But that nothing will eventually be a whole lot of nothing.