Okay the title is a little ridiculous, but this is the first of many posts to my advice column. Yay! So here we go! A reader under the pseudonym: Caroline has sent in this question:
So I’ve been dating this guy, and we’ve been dating for a really long time. Lately I feel like he’s been pressuring me to have sex with him for the first time. I’m in college and all my friends have done it, but I still don’t feel ready. What should I do?
Well Caroline, firstly, I have to say that to some, sex is no big deal and that is perfectly okay. To others, sex is a big deal and should be cherished, that is perfectly okay too. What is not okay is for you to be pressured into doing something you don’t want to do, or feel like you would regret it. Just because something seems cool or that it would make others like you more doesn’t necessarily mean it is the right thing for YOU.
It seems to me that if you don’t feel ready, then you aren’t, so stand your ground and say no, if he really loves you, he will respect that and wait for when the time comes that you want sex too.
If you do decide to have sex with him, here are some things to keep in mind
1. Use some form of birth control. No excuses.
2. Use STD/STI protection. Also no excuses.
3. Relax, if this is special to you, it is important not to have this time ruined by nerves, you want it to be fun.
4. If things get uncomfortable, or you start to feel at all like you are doing something you don’t want to be doing, say no. If he doesn’t listen, knee him in the jewels and if you can’t get out of it, seek further help for statutory rape.
5. If you have to file a rape claim, just do it and do not let fear of repercussions from doing so keep you from doing it, because you are protected.
6. Finally, if you decide you like sex and think it’s fun and want to do it a lot, go for it and don’t feel ashamed; slut shaming is wrong and unacceptable.
I hope my advice seems fit to this, but to answer your initial question, if you don’t feel ready, stick to your guns and say no until you are ready because this is about YOU so screw (figuratively or literally) everyone else and their opinions. YOU DO YOU BOO BOO