How to Find the One in College

Everyone when they start reaching these years in their life starts to wonder when they can stop being single and when they can stop dating the wrong people. There is no solid answer to this question however, I can give you advice.

These days in our lives are not meant for wasting so we don’t want to waste time with Mr. or Miss Wrong when “The One” could be right around the corner. These days are the days for finding the special one you could see yourself spending years or even the rest of your life with. These are the days when you find your soulmate. So, why is it so hard? That, I also don’t definitively know. It might be because we make it so hard. People are too finicky about who they date, and dating typically means something different than it should. I also believe you can find your soulmate in the most random places. Now, let me give you the best advice I can muster up.

1. Dating is meant for multiple people. You do not have to reserve dating for a significant other, if you are single or still looking, then go on dates with multiple people to find out who and what type of person you like. You can often be misled by solely looks or certain aspects of a person, but honestly, you might find your soulmate in someone you would have never expected. So keep dating around, that is what college is meant for, and this way you get to sample a larger portion of the goods.

2. Don’t be afraid to consider your best friends. To be honest, the person you want to marry will be someone you can be best friends for life with. That is one way you know it will work out, if you can be both best friends and significant others. More often than not, people will be afraid of losing the friendship or ruining it by trying to date, but if you are truly best friends, then you should be able to accept that it didn’t work out and mend the friendship. However, be careful in considering your best friends, because you need to evaluate if it would even work based on your personalities before you offer up the option. If you are not as close as you think you are, then talks of ‘crushes’ could actually mess things up, but do not let that deter you.

3. Do not be hung up on looks. Frankly, for me, personality is way more important. I believe not in love at first sight (shallowness), but the growth of soul mates, which is a deeper connection than just a physical attraction. If you truly love a person, then the looks will truly not matter to you.

4. Do not rush things. This relationship is going to take time to develop, and if you rush things, it could be ruined. Perfect relationships need time to develop or else they are not perfect. You need to take time to learn the ins and outs of the person, learn how to be with them and what makes them tick. Being in a relationship isn’t easy, but it could be once you take time to learn the other person.

5. Do not look for the relationship. The relationship will come to you if you just remain open to that possibility. Take time to live life, be happy, learn things, find yourself, and learn to love yourself. You can’t truly love another person until you can learn to love yourself. Loving yourself can be the hardest thing to do, so once you have mastered that, it will be a piece of cake to love someone else. Most of the time, the relationship will just come to you if you go with the flow of life and follow your heart. Don’t get me wrong, you will need to put effort in to getting in a relationship, just don’t try too hard.

6. Truly be yourself. You won’t find your true love by getting them to fall for someone that you aren’t. If you do, then later in life, once you get comfortable, they will find that they don’t know you anymore, which can lead to the end of a relationship. Be real with the person, and they will be real with you.

I hope that this has offered some help in teaching you how to find “The One” in college. Don’t be dismayed though if you don’t find them while you are in college; sometimes waiting will show you who you would have missed out on. I believe that there is a soulmate for everyone, and I believe that if you do things right, you will find them.

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Life Hacks for Productivity via: Jessica Lawlor

I recently just found the blog run by Jessica Lawlor, I can’t even put words into how much I adore her blog. It isn’t a niche blog, in fact it is an anti-niche blog and she just writes about what she fancies to write about. She gives amazing tips and helpful hacks for life and not to mention, she is an amazing writer. I truly aspire to be like her, a true entrepreneur.

Out of her many posts, one of my favorites is:

Be More Productive: 15 Little Life Hacks For Your Sanity, Career, Fitness and Blog/Biz

I am going to share with you excerpts of my favorite tips she gives in this article.

Wake up earlier. Clearly I’m a big fan of waking up early to get things done. But you don’t have to wake up at 4:45 a.m. to feel that impact. Even setting your clock back 15-20 minutes more than usual will help you get a little more done in the morning to start your day on a productive note.

I especially like this tip because once you think about it, there really is so much extra you can get done if you add just a little amount of time to each of your days.

Prep for the following week on Friday afternoon. There’s no worse feeling on Monday  morning than walking into the office with no plan of action. My best weeks generally happen when I come to work with a goal and a list of to-do’s that I know will help me get to that goal. That way, on Monday, I dive right into that most important task, rather than spending the first two hours of my day ramping up

Here, she talks about when to prepare for the following week. I myself have seen this recommended multiple times and I do this by using a specific planner to plan out each day and when during the day I do which assignments.

  • Plan ahead for a more happy and productive you.
  • A smooth Sunday evening and Monday morning set the tone for a positive week ahead.
  • If it takes less than five minutes, just do it now.

This is my last excerpt from her post as well as the most important. This sums up her entire post and she offers such great advice. Advice that I plan to take.

Jessica Lawlor has put forward such amazing advice here and I think that it is so worth mentioning on my blog because I am going to be taking this advice to heart as I begin to turn over my new leaf.

How To: Find Your Forever Friends In College

More often than not, people go in to college alone or with few high school friends. The vast amount of people who you will share a campus with can become overwhelming and even promote loneliness initially. One might find oneself not knowing who to become friends with and how to start the friendships. In all honesty, the amount of people you run into in college and the amount of people that become your forever friends create a huge difference, and more often than not, you will find yourself with friends that aren’t your forever friends. The problem is how do you find forever friends and how do you differentiate between forever friends and friends that aren’t forever? There isn’t always a specific answer, but there are lots of places to start.

1. Your forever friends are going to be passionate about what you are passionate about. You can start finding them by just saying hello in class and finding out who these people are and what they stand for. An easier approach and a way to narrow down people is by joining organizations that interest you; odds are, the people in these groups are interested in the same things. If you are interested in Greek life, you can rush, if you are interested in a career in engineering, then join one of the engineering focused organizations. The most important thing when considering organizations and friends is making sure you are comfortable being involved with them. Happiness is key.

2. Your forever friends are going to make you incredibly happy and comfortable. They also will want the best for you and not pressure you in to doing something you are uncomfortable with. Non-forever friends will pressure you or not accept everything you do or stand for.

3. You can find forever friends in the most odd places so don’t stop trying or saying hello. You might meet someone in your dorm or in a class or in an organization. You don’t need to worry about how as long as you just remain confident. Everyone else in college is looking for their forever friends too; you’re not alone and don’t be afraid of cliques; they don’t exist anymore. In summation, if you just put yourself out there, you will find friends, then you just have to determine if they are forever.

It really isn’t that hard to find your forever friends, you just have to do a lot of sorting through the non-forever friends, which isn’t a bad thing, it just gives you more knowledge and experience so you can find your forever friends. I promise you will find them, it just takes time. If I found mine, you can find yours.

Requests, Recommendations, and More.

As you can see from my previous post, I obviously answer questions for advice and the like, but I also want to get advice as well. I am a new blogger and a new public writer even, so I could use anything you have to offer me. If you want to hear about a specific topic, let me know. If you want to hear less about something let me know. If you have any advice to give, please for the sake of all the deities in the world, let me know because it will be warmly welcomed and you will be thanked profusely.

I once was told:

You can never get anywhere if you are too arrogant and proud to reach out for help, because no matter who you are, you will need it at some point in time and that does not make you any less of a person.

– Anonymous

and I plan to follow this advice.

I am honestly brand new and, in the terms of the characters of “The Maze Runner”, a greenie. I hope hope hope that you will give a fellow blogger some help in establishing herself. This is my reach out in to the void. Whether it remains unanswered or not is up to you dear reader.

I thank you so much for reading and every single one of you, dear readers, is special to me and I cannot emphasize enough how much it means to have you all reading my blog.

Marvelous McKenzie answers your questions:

Okay the title is a little ridiculous, but this is the first of many posts to my advice column. Yay! So here we go! A reader under the pseudonym: Caroline has sent in this question:

Dear McKenzie,

So I’ve been dating this guy, and we’ve been dating for a really long time. Lately I feel like he’s been pressuring me to have sex with him for the first time. I’m in college and all my friends have done it, but I still don’t feel ready. What should I do?

Caroline

Well Caroline, firstly, I have to say that to some, sex is no big deal and that is perfectly okay. To others, sex is a big deal and should be cherished, that is perfectly okay too. What is not okay is for you to be pressured into doing something you don’t want to do, or feel like you would regret it. Just because something seems cool or that it would make others like you more doesn’t necessarily mean it is the right thing for YOU.

It seems to me that if you don’t feel ready, then you aren’t, so stand your ground and say no, if he really loves you, he will respect that and wait for when the time comes that you want sex too.

If you do decide to have sex with him, here are some things to keep in mind

1. Use some form of birth control. No excuses.

2. Use STD/STI protection. Also no excuses.

3. Relax, if this is special to you, it is important not to have this time ruined by nerves, you want it to be fun.

4. If things get uncomfortable, or you start to feel at all like you are doing something you don’t want to be doing, say no. If he doesn’t listen, knee him in the jewels and if you can’t get out of it, seek further help for statutory rape.

5. If you have to file a rape claim, just do it and do not let fear of repercussions from doing so keep you from doing it, because you are protected.

6. Finally, if you decide you like sex and think it’s fun and want to do it a lot, go for it and don’t feel ashamed; slut shaming is wrong and unacceptable.

I hope my advice seems fit to this, but to answer your initial question, if you don’t feel ready, stick to your guns and say no until you are ready because this is about YOU so screw (figuratively or literally) everyone else and their opinions. YOU DO YOU BOO BOO

XO McKenzie

The Ultimate Question

Engineering or Pre-Med?

That’s at least my question and some of you might have the same one. I am really struggling with this in all honesty. I’m sitting here at a local coffee shop trying to weigh which one is better for me. To no avail. So the question is really:

“What is my path in life, and am I running out of time to decide?”

The answer to this question is not an easy one. I am already halfway through my sophomore year in college and I’m still without an answer. Soon I’ll be taking major specific courses and I’ll be in my fifth year of college by the time I finish with either major I chose so I can’t risk changing my mind again or else I’ll be spending even more time in undergrad. But isn’t that the point in life? To change your mind and change it again? But how many chances do we even get to do that before we run out of time?

Not a lot.

One minute I have this passion for one major but chances are I won’t be able to handle the course load and get a good enough GPA to get the career I want. Then the other minute I have this ideal of getting into a completely different occupation which would be more feasible to me due to my circumstances. So what do I decide and what time do I have to decide?

A lot of you may be going through a similar dilemma, having a choice you have to make with so little time to make it. I can offer you advice, but not the answer, because one may never be sure if they made the right decision.

1. If you have a choice that is stuck in your heart and you can’t seem to let it go and it is one you would regret not picking, really consider that choice over the other. You do not want to be stuck at the end of your life with regrets, because there is no second chance.

2. Imagine if you were someone else or imagine that you had an outside perspective and offer this other person, or yourself advice on what you would think they should do given all the factors. This can be one of the most helpful things to do.

3. Do not let someone else’s ideals sway you one way or the other. This is not their life, it is yours. You need to be true to yourself. If you do not want to go into the family business, then don’t. If you do not want to do Forbes’ highest paying job, then don’t. It is entirely up to you.

Life chooses aren’t easy to make but with a little faith, soul searching, and even seeking guidance from a counselor, you can make the best choice for you. The end goal isn’t necessarily to be the wealthiest or the most famous (unless that would make you happy), the end goal is to have the happiest most rewarding life there is, because at the end the end of your life, that is all that truly matters.